Who I am Hates Who I've Been

i love him no matter what. i love him for the guy he used to be and the guy he could be. i love him for his brilliance, honesty, his hard work, and his story. I constantly see past all the stupid bullshit because I know how he was and how he should be. I don’t think he’s “being real” when we are alone. a lot of times, he’s just a straight up ass then, too. but at least he’s an ass who isnt trying to prove himself to others then. he doesnt deserve me and he never will, i know that. and I will try to not go back to him, but I know me, and I know he makes me weak. I keep thinking “what if”. and I know I shouldnt